Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Exhaustion

I am wiped out! I'm not sure why or what exactly is going on...maybe because I really didn't stop to rest when I was the sickest...maybe because my body has just had enough lately...not sure. But I am sure that when I get this completely exhausted, I get cranky...REALLY cranky. No one (not even me) knows what is going to set me off. So I'm an exhausted, cranky, seventh grade teacher. Those three things don't go well together. I have times with my students when they do things that are absolutely right in line with what middle schoolers should be doing, and when I'm like this those "middle school" things just absolutely make me crazy.

Greg (my hubby) and I were having a brief conversation on the phone today and I said "I hope you won't be upset with me, but I am going to sit on the couch and veg out tonight. I have continued to put one foot in front of the other all day...I've tried to fake it 'til I felt it, and I just haven't felt it." He thought it was funny.

How do you make it through days when your body just lets you down? Especially when you become so concerned about the feelings of the people around you. I am, by career, a middle school teacher. I am, by choice, someone who loves these kids, my own and the ones I teach. I do not want to humiliate them or embarrass them or hurt them because I don't feel well. I continue to pray daily, that God will allow my true heart to show through, even on the rare days when I just can't fake it 'til I feel it.

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